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Green Forest Sex Parties AR USA

Akron & Cleveland and Youngstown Swingers Parties This is a group from Akron‚ Cleveland and Youngstown that put on parties for swingers and couples/females who are looking for real meets for gangbangs and hotel parties (group sex). We have a kik room to meet other members and see what we are about. To join the group you will need to follow the rules in the profile picture. 1. We will need a live face pic upon entering the room (if you can't submit a live pic then don't enter) 2. Introduce yourself upon entering the room 3. Be respectful 4. NO DICK pics 5. Chat in the room‚ NO PM's without permission or you will be removed from the group. We have regular parties and always looking for new people to join. If you have parties as well we are always looking to collaborate - Akron & Cleveland and Youngstown Swingers Parties Are the real swingers parties or sex parties actually happening in Tulsa? Really?? Other Locations · Are the real swingers parties or sex parties actually happening in Tulsa? Really?? · I must admit, I'm extremely new to this whole scene but I've paid some kinda attention to it for quite some time, albeit from a distance, and have never learned of actual swingers clubs or fuck parties around here - I just feel like surely I would have. But, that said, I'm oh so happy to be wrong, I'm just asking this to make sure this is real and the people here are truly down to, well, get down. Our is this a waste of time? I hope not, cus ladies I promise I won't waste your's, my wife would never let me and she super excited to get involved too.. I hope to hear something back soon! Thanks! SWINGER EVENTS AND PARTIES IN VIRGINA/MARYLAND/WASHINGTON D.C. AKA DMV Other Areas, VA (USA) · Men Seeking Women · ABOUT THE SWINGER SOCIAL CLUB DMV Swinger Social Club is a lifestyle social club for adventurous adults who embrace the kink and/or swinger lifestyles. It is unapologetically different from other swinger parties. A dark, exciting, sexually charged yet sensual atmosphere without anything to distract you from why you came. All are welcome, exhibitionists and voyeurs alike. This is a place where you can meet other like-minded people and explore your kinks and fantasies in a safe, sane, nonjudgmental environment. So, whether you want to watch, play, or get your kink on we have a little something for everyone. DMV Swinger Social Club is the place to be in the DMV for all alternative lifestyle events! Don’t like the big lifestyle party crowds or clubs, come party with us in a chill, relaxed, and welcoming environment. Our lifestyle social club brings together provocative couples, adventurous females, transgender persons, and kinky men where you can mix & mingle in a wild, uninhibited environment. This singles, couples, men, women, and transgender party welcomes both committed and casual members of the lifestyle and creates a safe space for diverse genders and orientations! We are a fun, safe, and kinky group. We love to host and organize upscale fun events and parties. We are lifestyle members and inclusive of everyone! We’d love to include you in all the fun. WE HOST PARTIES AND EVENTS BI-WEEKLY IN THE DMV AREA BUT MOSTLY IN VA AND MD. Erotic Catering General Discussions · Erotic Catering · A dynamic interracial couple combining 30 years of experience in catering and event management. We are passionate and dedicated to achieve the highest level of service for our clients. Creativity and open minded orientation has insured that we are able to make your special event memorable. We specialise in adult events ranging from private dinner parties, cocktail parties, swinger parties, birthday parties and even the occasional corporate event. If you are looking for that sexy twist to your event our service range from cocktail, waitresses, barmen and hostesses that will compliment your unique theme. We gladly await your correspondence. Gang bangs / / Group sex in Pittsburgh‚ Pa USA Only · Gang bangs / / Group sex in Pittsburgh‚ Pa · we are a group from Pittsburgh that put on parties  for swingers and couples/females who are looking for real meets for gangbangs and hotel parties (group sex). We have a kik room to meet other members and see what we are about. To join the group you will need to follow the rules in the profile picture. 1. We will need a live face pic upon entering the room (if you can't submit a live pic then don't enter)2. Introduce yourself upon entering the room3. Be respectful4. NO DICK pics5. Chat in the room‚ NO PM's without permission or you will be removed from the group.We have regular parties and always looking for new people to join. If you need the kik code to join send me a message  check us out at kik #pittgangbangclub Wine Country Sex Parties Help make a sex group happen in Sonoma County CA. Currently looking to get enough interest to form a club that can host sex parties. We plan to be totally self sufficient‚ non-profit‚ and run by a group of individuals (trustees) to be in leadership positions for no longer than a term of 1 year. Other positions will be available on a volunteer basis and will have a requirement of a 6 month commitment. This group will be open to all ages 18 years of age and up. A certain code of behavior will be required and enforced at our gatherings. This is for the safety and discretion of our guests and members. This group is meant to be for adult entertainment and honest good clean fun. Any persons that are deemed acting inappropriately‚ or being disrespectful‚ rude‚ or pushy and perverted will be removed and their membership will be forfeited and donations to events will be forfeited as well with out refund. - Wine Country Sex Parties Sex Parties Phoenix General Sex Experiences · Sex Parties Phoenix · Let's keep phoenix sexy and updated with local sex parties! Any parties in Philly,PA area?? USA Only · Any parties in Philly,PA area?? · Looking for sex parties,orgies, gloryholes ,any kind of hotel sex party.New here and would like to attend. I'm always D+D free . Pittsburgh gangbangs and group sex we are a group from Pittsburgh that put on parties for swingers and couples/females who are looking for real meets for gangbangs and hotel parties (group sex). We have a kik room to meet other members and see what we are about. To join the group you will need to follow the rules in the profile picture. 1. We will need a live face pic upon entering the room (if you can't submit a live pic then don't enter) 2. Introduce yourself upon entering the room 3. Be respectful 4. NO DICK pics 5. Chat in the room‚ NO PM's without permission or you will be removed from the group. We have regular parties and always looking for new people to join. If you need the kik code to join send me a message check us out at kik #pittgangbangclub - Pittsburgh gangbangs and group sex sex parties Photo gallery: sex parties · sex parties Newnan, GA Sex Parties This group is designed for the sexy swinger singles or couples interested in attending or hosting a upscale respectable group sex party. These parties will be well planned and put together with a prior RSVP. Please connect if you are interested - Newnan, GA Sex Parties Any sex parties in Colorado Sorings General Discussions · Any sex parties in Colorado Sorings · Are there any Wild sex parties or orgies going on in Colorado Springs. I’ve been looking for one but they are hard to find. 901 Sex Parties Orgy Sex Parties in the 901 (Memphis, TN)!! - 901 Sex Parties Sex Parties General Discussions · Sex Parties · Where can I locate sex parties? Preference for ebony men and women. Location is Florida. Willing to travel Hotel parties Pittsburgh, PA (USA) · Men Seeking Women · This is a kik group for swingers and couples/females who are looking for real meets for gangbangs and hotel parties (group sex). Must be over 21 y/o. We verify age 1. We will need a live face pic upon entering the room (if you can't submit a live pic‚ don't join 2. Read rules when joining group We have regular parties and always looking for new people to join. Scan the kik code in the picture to enter the room. 805 sex parties Lets start the show. Join and well have parties started.Oxnard_ camraillo_ Ventura_ if ur willing to cum down.;) if ur close enough to visit. - 805 sex parties SWINGER PARTIES, EVENTS, GANG BANGS Baltimore, MD (USA) · Men Seeking Women · ABOUT THE SWINGER SOCIAL CLUB DMV Swinger Social Club is a lifestyle social club for adventurous adults who embrace the kink and/or swinger lifestyles. It is unapologetically different from other swinger parties. A dark, exciting, sexually charged yet sensual atmosphere without anything to distract you from why you came. All are welcome, exhibitionists and voyeurs alike. This is a place where you can meet other like-minded people and explore your kinks and fantasies in a safe, sane, nonjudgmental environment. So, whether you want to watch, play, or get your kink on we have a little something for everyone. DMV Swinger Social Club is the place to be in the DMV for all alternative lifestyle events! Don’t like the big lifestyle party crowds or clubs, come party with us in a chill, relaxed, and welcoming environment. Our lifestyle social club brings together provocative couples, adventurous females, transgender persons, and kinky men where you can mix & mingle in a wild, uninhibited environment. This singles, couples, men, women, and transgender party welcomes both committed and casual members of the lifestyle and creates a safe space for diverse genders and orientations! We are a fun, safe, and kinky group. We love to host and organize upscale fun events and parties. We are lifestyle members and inclusive of everyone! We’d love to include you in all the fun. WE HOST EVENTS BI-WEEKLY! Swinger Heaven Las Vegas Areas We are a group from Las Vegas that put on parties for swingers and couples/females who are looking for real meets for gangbangs and hotel parties (group sex). We have a kik room to meet other members and see what we are about. To join the group you will need to follow the rules in the profile picture. 1. We will need a live face pic upon entering the room (if you can't submit a live pic then don't enter) 2. Introduce yourself upon entering the room 3. Be respectful 4. NO DICK pics 5. Chat in the room‚ NO PM's without permission or you will be removed from the group. We have regular parties and always looking for new people to join. - Swinger Heaven Las Vegas Areas Babysitting prt1 Babysitting prt1 · General · Jace parents were very clingy of there son but he just turn 18 and they still wanted a babysitter for him so here is the story.... Jace's folks were off to Vegas this Friday evening, and they didn't trust him being alone. He never got in trouble, but his mom, and to a lesser extent, his dad, intended to keep things that way. His older brother Dan had left home years ago. Dan partied a lot while living at home, then went off to see the world-- Jace was their precious, remaining son. Advanced case of empty nest syndrome, here he was. Their solution to keeping him from throwing a house party he'd never actually throw, was to hire a babysitter. For an 18-year-old. Jesus. I was the daughter of his dad's supervisor, Jack Pinehurst. He was like 65, so at least the broad would be a middle aged woman. Still didn't sit well with him, though. When she rang his doorbell, he was surprised that she was young. She might have been 22, but no older. She was also curvy. Not fat, just curvaceous. Her hair was sandy, and she had freckles on her cheeks. She wore a long coat with a baggy band shirt. Jace didn't recognize the band. But he registered that her rack was pretty substantial. Chubby girls had nice racks. "You must be Jason," she said in a friendly tone, smiling. She was cute. "I'm Pia." "Jace," he said, only mildly annoyed at the sound of his real name coming from her soft lips. Jace sounded dumber than Jason, suddenly. He was trying it on for size. "Come in," he mumbled. His folks came downstairs and introduced him to Pia. "Pia Pinehurst," said his dad, "this is our son, Jace." "We met," Pia said. She had a nice smile. Green eyes like little emeralds. "Well," his mom said, "We're late. Gotta hit the road. Emergency stuff is on the fridge. See you both Monday." They were gone within a minute. "So," Pia said, taking off her coat, "Why do YOU need a sitter?" She eyed him up. He wasn't a full blown adult, and he was a little short for 18. But even she thought it was odd. "No logical reason," Jace muttered. "My dad's a little controlling too. Helicopter parents, much?" Pia might have been aware it was a weird situation, but it was clear that she was trying to ease the tension anyways. "Sorry," Jace said. "This is just a little silly to me. You seem like you're around my age. How old are you?" "21," said Pia. "You?" "18..." he said, and died a little inside. "Are you sure your parents didn't...set us up? For some reason?" She had a tiny gap between her front teeth. Jace thought for a moment. Until just now, he still had his back up against the need for a babysitter. Now he realized he'd get to spend the weekend alone with her. For days. She would be sleeping down the hall from him for the next two nights. He expected a middle aged lady-- not someone just a few years older, never mind with a body type right up his alley. "I doubt it," Jace said, knowing full well his parents wouldn't be so kind as to knowingly set up such a dream scenario for him. "I think they just forget I'm not a kid anymore." He tried to convey maturity in his voice. "Well, either way," said Pia, "I get paid to be here, and you get my amazing company. Let's ditch the babysitting aspect. We're just strangers hanging out." She sat on the couch. She wore high waisted jeans. Her hips were nicely shaped. "What movies do you like?" she asked. "Comedies, usually," said Jace. They turned on the TV and started to watch an old Adam Sandler flick. She had never seen it. He sat on the opposite end of the couch, and they barely spoke. But they laughed here and there. Jace was nervous. "Do you mind getting some popcorn or something?" she said, without looking away from the movie. "Sure," he said, wandering into the kitchen. Jace threw a bag of extra buttery in the microwave, and fetched a couple glasses of water. There was no alcohol in the house. After the popping slowed, he grabbed the bag before it burned, and filled a single bowl. "Smells good," she said as he returned with popcorn and water. "I don't even have Coke or anything, sorry." "Meh," she said in a carefree way, "I just needed snacks. Sit closer and share the bowl." Pia patted the space by her ass, which was pointed towards him as she lay slumped away from him. Jace sat closer. "You single?" She reached, and grabbed a handful of popcorn from his lap. "Uh, yup," he said, nodding. "You?" "No," she said. "Got engaged last week." Jace pretended to be happy to hear it. Secretly he was devastated, as a crush was only just developing. Obviously it was just a one-way crush. "Just kidding," she said wincing. "No clue why I said that. I've been in a dry spell for a while." Jace smiled, but didn't know how to follow up. The movie ended, and he went to get up to use the bathroom. Pia grabbed his ankle, and he stumbled to the carpet. She laughed, but stifled it. He looked at her with mild confusion. "Sorry, I grew up in a household of boys. I'm the only daughter, and I have 4 younger brothers. We used to rough house a lot. Just a force of habit." "My only brother left home when I was...like 8? He never paid much attention to me," Jace said, standing up straight and brushing his shirt off as if he had taken a rougher tumble. "No wrestling with your sibling then?" She smiled funny at him. He shook his head. "Missed out," said Pia. "Wanna...give it a try?" "With..." he assessed if she was serious. He found it odd that she wanted to play-wrestle. They weren't little kids. "You and me?" "Yeah," she said, slumping to the carpeted floor. "I'll go easy." She was serious, no doubt about it. Jace commanded his limbs to move. To advance towards her. Before he could, she pounced on him. She straddled his abdomen. Her hands kept his shoulders flat on the ground. "I used to wrestle all my younger brothers." Her long hair fell down her face, tickling his lips. She was sitting on his belly button. Her butt was cushy and warm. It felt nice. "Well," she said in a feisty voice, "c'mon already! Fight back!" He strained to roll her off of him, but she was resting all her weight on him. He didn't intend to tickle her, but when he reached up to grab her waist, he grabbed just above her love handle, and she twitched against his fingers, gripping his hand in her soft curves. "Ahh! No tickling!" She rolled off, sitting beside him. "Sorry, I'm crazy ticklish." She bit her lower lip, and brushed her sandy hair from her forest green eyes. "My bad," he said, sitting up with her. What a beauty. "Hey, which bed is mine?" She put a finger to her lip like there was a mystery afoot. "Dan's old room," he said. He took a moment to show her around. First stop was his brother's old room. "Classic guest room," she said, leaning on the doorframe. "Nightstand, lamp, bed, painting of a...serial killer?" "That's a self portrait he did a while back. Only art my folks kept of his, on the walls. I used to be scared of it as a kid. Now I think it's stupid." He looked at the painting for the first time in a while. It suffered from uncanny valley vibes: it looked like Dan but it was sort of...off. He never understood why this was the painting they chose to leave in the guest room. "Jace, I can't sleep in this room with your soulless-eyed bro watching me. What else we got?" He showed Pia his parents room. It was bigger, but it smelled like his dad and their bed looked like it was from a bad hotel. It was probably comfy, but it looked...used. "Please tell me your room isn't like...haunted, or in the basement?" She laughed. "Here's mine," he said, flicking on the lights. Pia inspected his room. It was clean, organized, and smelled okay. No creepy paintings. He had some nerdy posters up, but he wasn't too worried. She didn't seem overly judgmental. Plus, his jizz socks were hidden under the bed. "You can use my bed, I can do the couch," he suggested, trying to be chivalrous. "You've got a queen, we can split it if you want," she said casually. Sorry, what the what? "Y-you wanna..." He stammered like a loser. She would sleep with him that easily? "Totally platonic, Jace. Just keep me company so I don't get creeped out in your weird house!" "It's not that weird," he laughed. "I'll grab my go-bag, I think I'm getting ready for bed soon anyway." Jace was tired as well. He was usually asleep before midnight. "Okay," he said, marveling at the opportunity to share a bed with Pia. She went and grabbed her bag of clothes and whatnot, and took it into the bathroom. "Can I borrow your toothpaste?" she called out through the door. "Totally!" he said. She was out five minutes later, wearing pajama bottoms and a sports bra. Her jammies were pulled high on her waist, just like her jeans were. He couldn't even see her bellybutton. "Your turn," she said as she passed by. She smelled like girly deodorant. Jace hopped into the bathroom. He was brushing his teeth when he saw her underwear twisted up on the floor. It was a grey thong. He bent down, and picked it up without a pause. He unfurled them, and noticed they were a little...damp. Nothing crazy, they just felt a little moist around one area. He was sniffing them before he could stop himself. It smelled musky, acidic...and a little...tangy? Fruity? It was fucking amazing. He stopped, realizing he needed to twist them up and put them back, and play dumb. Another second and his erection might have been an issue. He was only half-chubbed at the moment. He put them back, and finished brushing. He walked into his bedroom. Pia was sitting on the bed. He tried to avoid staring at her big boobs. "I just realized I left my thong in there. Sorry." She threw up her hands. "Oh," said Jace, feigning ignorance. "I didn't notice." He could still smell the aroma on his lip. "Which side do you want?" She thumbed towards the bed. He never had to pick a side before. "Inside, I guess," he said. Jace liked leaning against the cold wall sometimes. Helped him sleep. "You just don't want me crawling over you in the night." She smiled at him, and chuckled. "Kidding. I sleep like a rock, usually. If I snore, just poke me." "You got it," he said. She scooched over so he could crawl in beside her. He turned off the light and started for the bed. She grabbed his wrist. "Are you wearing your clothes to bed?" He felt dumb as hell. He still had jeans and a shirt on. "Oh, duh. Nope." He took off his shirt sitting beside her. He paused. "I'm just gonna be staring at you, no pressure," she said giggling. Her levity actually calmed his nerves. But he still felt self-conscious. He got a handjob once, and only kissed a couple girls. Otherwise, he was a virgin. He pulled his jeans off, leaving only boxers. She did as she promised and watched him the whole time. "Kay, now you may sleep," she said. "And as your babysitter I'm gonna sleep with you. Normal, right?" She laughed again. She laughed a lot, but he liked the sound. "Normal," he said crawling in beside her. "You're like a mailman, or a senator. Just doing your job." She laughed so hard that she snorted. Jace loved this woman. He laid on his back. She pulled the sheets up over them. "Sorry if I seem like a crazy person," she said a little quieter. "I used to be really shy as a kid. I've learned to take things less seriously. Be more impulsive." Jace wasn't put out. Even if nothing happened between them, this was exhilarating. Still, he felt like he would pass out soon. "I'm halfway there," he said, and she turned towards him, listening intently. "I'm pretty sheltered. I could use some of your...confidence." "Jace," she said, her knee brushing up against his leg, "It's all about faking it till you make it. Lying when you need to, but being honest to yourself. All that shit." "Makes sense," he said, then yawned. "You're tired huh? I am too. I'll stop talking already. Do you usually sleep on your back?" "No," he said, "My side, away from the wall. I like a cold wall sometimes." "I like a cold pillow," said Pia, turning over, facing away. Jace turned towards Pia, careful not to touch her. "We can cuddle and still be platonic, if you want," she said, her half-question lingering in the room for too long. Jace was speechless for a time. "Okay," he said finally. "You like your cold wall, so I'll come to you." Pia wiggled towards him. Her bum settled against his boxers, and he instinctively put his left arm over her. She clasped his hand, and placed it above her chest, not letting go. "Cozy," she said, sounding so. He was overwhelmed with the sensations of her soft body against his. A grown woman in his bed. She sighed. "Have a good sleep, Jace." "You too, Pia," he said into her ear. Suddenly, he realized that he might get hard before he caught any Z's. And Pia seemed cool, but he didn't think she'd appreciate any unsolicited prodding against her ass. They both breathed deeply, but now Jace was wired. He felt his heart beating loudly in his chest. He usually beat off before bed. He could feel his urge growing against her, slowly. She smelled amazing, and he still held her hand just inches above her large breasts. Her ass was warm, and soft, and-- "I can't sleep," she said suddenly. He was still. He almost pretended to be asleep. But it seemed silly. "Same," he said. She turned over, letting go of his hand, facing him in the dark. "You're a pretty good liar," she said, sounding impressed. "What?" he asked, clueless as all hell. "You said you didn't notice my thong in the bathroom. I left it in there, and you said you didn't notice. But you did, right?" She sounded curious, not accusatory. "Uh," he said, unsure of what to say. "I..." She had said something before, about lying and truths. Was this about that? He found it pointless to lie at this point. "I lied. Not sure why." He cleared his throat. "Did you sniff them?" Jace was stunned. How could she know? "I caught my brother's friend doing it once, just before I moved out. I had dirty laundry in the bathroom, and I walked in. Man, was he embarrassed." She put her hand on his chest. "I didn't ask...to embarrass you. I just liked the idea of you doing it, whether you did or not. I left it there on purpose for you to notice." He felt warm, and electric. "Okay. Well...I did it," he said quietly. "I would have too, if I were you," she said. "I'm a horn dog, sometimes. Are you a virgin, Jace?" He exhaled. No sense in trying to overcompensate now. "I am," he said. "Nice," Pia said warmly. "No rush. Sex is fun, but overrated. I've only been with two guys." "Oh, okay," he said, loosening up a little bit. Just a bit. "I've...had a handjob before," he said, immediately regretting it. But Pia just rolled with it. "Nice. See? You've got some game. One step at a time. Do you want a handjob right now?" "What?" He must have misheard her. "Handjob. Help you sleep? It helps me sleep. Getting off I mean." "Oh. Yeah, it does. I mean--" "Sorry," Pia said, "I'm not just giving these out willy nilly. You're cute, and we're in a bed. You can say no if it's--" "Yes," said Jace. "If you don't...mind." "Nope!" she said, reaching for it within seconds. She gripped his bulge in his shorts, squeezing gently. She pulled down his boxers, freeing his member. She held it firmly in her hand. He got hard quick. "What do you usually use to...clean up?" He didn't want to admit he had a used pile of socks under his bed. Shameful socks. "Socks. Clean socks." It was hard to lie to Pia. "Smart," she said. "Where are they? The clean ones." He pointed to the drawer next to her. She grabbed one. She brought it under the sheet, and placed it over his dick, like she had done this before. "Less mess this way," she said, and began to stroke him. He breathed heavy. "You can touch me, if it'll help," she said, a little more sensually. He carefully moved his hand to her hip. She flinched a little. "No tickling, though." He traced his fingers across her curves, but not so gently that it might tickle her. "Feels good," she said. "Yes," he said, enamored by her skillful hand, and her soft skin. He reached down, grabbing a handful of her ass. "Am I a great babysitter, or what," said Pia in a whisper. "Yes," Jace said in a trancelike state. It was all bliss: Her smell, her hands, her words. "Actually, speaking of sitting...I could...enhance this for you, if you want?" "Okay," he said, ready for anything. She didn't stop jacking him off as she turned, and saddled herself above his face. Suddenly, Pia's round bum brushed against his chin, and settled slowly upon him. "You liked my undies, so I thought you might enjoy sniffing from the source." He inhaled through his nose. He smelled ass, and pussy, and feminine aromas all mixed together. He moaned involuntarily at the sensations. "Yeah," she said encouragingly, "Get up in there." She sat a little harder. Jace inhaled, completely lost in this moment--in her aromatic crevice. She stroked him faster. The sock was soft, and reduced friction. He was feeling close. "Come, Jace." He would soon. "I love that you're enjoying...this," she said, wiggling her bum around. Her soft cheeks enveloped him. The thin fabric of her pajamas was getting damp. She smelled...aroused. He could taste her juices through her pajamas. They coated his lips. "Jace," she moaned. He was about to come. He wanted to tell her, but she could tell, anyways. He started to writhe around, ready to blow. His air supply was restricted completely as she started grinding against his face. Suddenly, he moaned into his fleshy prison, shooting loads into his sock as she relentlessly stroked him. He saw stars, and leaned back, gasping for air. Pia let go of him, shoving her hand down her pajamas. He could hear her fingers find her clit, and she flinched and shuddered as she brought upon her own climax. She sat upright, sitting down on his face. Her cheeks pinched his nose tightly as she screamed out into the empty house. She fell forward, slowly easing her fingering. She crawled off Jace, and rotated so she laid beside him. "Sorry," she said panting, "got a little carried away." "No," he said, reeling from the best orgasm of his young life. "I liked it. A lot." "Never had a girl sit on your face? "No," he said smiling in the dark. "I like it. I really like the idea of someone being forced to smell me. I'm a freak like that." "Then so am I," said Jace. "Perfect," said Pia. "Maybe we can...experiment. Tomorrow?" "Tomorrow," he said, feeling drained, and satisfied. "Don't forget your sock," she said. He slowly took it off, tossing it across the room. "Adventures in babysitting," said Pia. "Hmm...what?" said Jace, falling asleep. "Nothing," she said, snuggling against him. "See you in the morning." As they slept soundly, a new dawn was slowly approaching. The Frog Dirty Jokes & Sex Funnies · The Frog · A guy goes to see the doctor‚ because he's been a little too well endowed‚ shall we say. In fact‚ it's 25 inches long. Can't get any women to have sex with him. No men either‚ one would think. Anyway‚ the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically‚ but sends him to see a witch that he thinks might be able to help. Witch takes a look at the problem (yikes!) and tells him to go to a particular pond‚ deep in the forest‚ and talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no‚ you'll be 5 inches shorter." Worth a try‚ he thinks‚ and off he dashes into the forest‚ as anyone in this sort of joke would. Finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side‚ sitting on a log. "Will you marry me?" he calls to the frog. Frog looks at him‚ disinterested at best‚ and calls back‚ "No." Guy looks down‚ sure enough‚ he's 5 inches shorter. Hey‚ this is great‚ he thinks - let's try that again. "Will you marry me?" he asks the frog. Frog rolls his eyes‚ and shouts back again‚ "No!" Twitch -- the guy's down to 15 inches. Well that's still a bit excessive‚ he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect. So he calls across again‚ "Will you marry me?" Frog yells back‚ "Look - how many times do I have to tell you? No. No. NO!"